you give yourself away

so you get along and she comes along and you lend her a book and she loves it and you talk and talk about all these things but you hold back by just about two footsteps because you know she's gonna disappear with that other guy because that's what happens so you're separated by about five yards because the closer you get the more you numb out when she goes into a life that is shaped by that other guy who she wouldn't meet if the world was nice but the world is the world and all the connections you feel are just a cruel joke so you get really close to her so close that it's almost love but you keep a distance by about two lengths of your arm and that way when she goes off with someone else into a life you never saw coming you'll be lucky that you weren't touching and that's why we don't look deep into their eyes because it'll be gone gone gone and all the books you shared and words you said were just something she'll remember maybe or maybe not when she's eighty five but until then she's nowhere to be seen anymore

girl in the room

that moment

you realize

it's the other guy

she likes.

they sit there

little looks

little moments

you sit over there inside yourself

and you can't get out

you never get out

you fold over and exist no more

desperado

a little bit
of liking everyone
creepy creepy
what are you wearing
would you ever
wish i didn't ask
not who i wanna be
creepy creepy
at that time of night
desperately seeking

here

you're in that place

you wanted to be

a shiver of life

a sprinkle of happy

a longing for forever

but only for now

you miss her.

you never thought it would happen, you never knew it could. and then one day, four years have gone by. and she's in a photograph, and she's gone, she's somewhere else, her cheeks pressed against another, you guess.

you don't know when it changed, or when you knew, you just know, it's different now. you miss her, you miss all the things you never realised, all the parts of her you never saw, they were all the reasons you left.

you left and now you don't know where you are. she is not in the place she was, she's standing somewhere where the wind is blowing, and she's smiling as the breeze hits the corners of her ears.

the world has shifted, and now you feel the emptiness within.

red and orange nights.

The night crept in, as it often does -- a soft sea of black closing in on the red and orange canvas. The night was as beautiful as any you could hope to see. In the streets outside; there was a beautiful chill and a strange melancholy to the air. A short walk on this particular night would fuel your soul with a decade's worth of desire and memories and hopes. A guy and a girl could walk and talk and feel the magic; the magic that comes when day turns to night, and boy turns to girl.

But everyone was sitting at home on Facebook writing on walls, poking, and 'liking'. The night was missed, and nobody ever knew it existed.

The End.
Of Our Lives.
If We're Not.
Careful.

doyouremembermeatall?

people are missed
places are gone
no-one remembers you at all.

beaches at night,
talking on her step,
walking on the lower east side.

warm it's so warm all the memories are so warm,
they're a movie in your head,
but does she remember you at all?
does anyone ever remember you at all?

three am and you're talking about the world
a smile a coffee a moment
it's all there
it's a lifetime for you
one night for her

you have a top ten list
amazing days and neverendng nights
that make you who you are
they make it worthwhile

i remember you so perfectly
i remember that feeling
belonging
feeling
living
walking home and bouncing bouncing BOUNCING
but do you remember it at all?
or was it just a normal tuesday, for you?