you give yourself away

so you get along and she comes along and you lend her a book and she loves it and you talk and talk about all these things but you hold back by just about two footsteps because you know she's gonna disappear with that other guy because that's what happens so you're separated by about five yards because the closer you get the more you numb out when she goes into a life that is shaped by that other guy who she wouldn't meet if the world was nice but the world is the world and all the connections you feel are just a cruel joke so you get really close to her so close that it's almost love but you keep a distance by about two lengths of your arm and that way when she goes off with someone else into a life you never saw coming you'll be lucky that you weren't touching and that's why we don't look deep into their eyes because it'll be gone gone gone and all the books you shared and words you said were just something she'll remember maybe or maybe not when she's eighty five but until then she's nowhere to be seen anymore

girl in the room

that moment

you realize

it's the other guy

she likes.

they sit there

little looks

little moments

you sit over there inside yourself

and you can't get out

you never get out

you fold over and exist no more