Saturday, 22 August 2009

go a different way.

Life happens quickly, then you die.

People repress you, then you die. People fight with you, then you die. People are jealous of you, then you die. People are destructive towards you, then you die. Or maybe you are repressive, a fighter, jealous and destructive. Either way you are numerous things and then you die.

Or you could go a different way. We have a tendency to moan about the people in our lives; we'll work for ten years with a repressive boss, we'll spend thirty years putting up with a jealous, destructive friend. Well, I'm telling you, you can go another way.

The first thing to do is accept that you are part of the problem. You play the victim, you sit there like fresh fish. You play a role which allows someone to be jealous of you, or angry towards you. So the first thing you can do is address this pattern with the person causing you strife. Or, if you are strong enough-- you can change the pattern; you can choose not to be victimized.

Or maybe it's time to let someone go or change your situation. Quite often it's pretty obvious and you've had everyone who knows you saying, "I don't know how you put up with it."

"Jealousy is fear of abandonment." -unknown.

When a jealous person fears losing you, they'll do anything they can to undermine your relationships and opportunities; and they'll do it by playing on your insecurities. So when things go wrong, you feel like you're to blame. A person who does this is not someone you want in your life. Their jealousy becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy, because to NOT abandon them will leave you repressed and miserable for the REST of your life.

You are made to feel like shit, and then you die. Or you can go a different way.

It's one year ago today that my Uncle went out for some milk, and was killed crossing the road as a speeding motorbike struck him down, severing his leg; leaving him dying in the street. Things can really end that quickly. The great thing about his life is that in the five years prior to his death he changed his life completely, and in a birthday card to his wife, my Aunt, not long before his death; he wrote that it had been the best year of his life.

Life is short. If you die tomorrow, you need to make sure you righted the wrongs in your life. Getting rid of the destructive people in your life isn't a task for some distant, hazy tomorrow, it's for today.


  1. You are absolutely right. I wrote about getting rid of one of these destructive people. Feels great when its done. This particular one hasn't been in contact with me for over a month then yesterday emailed me. Trying to make me feel guilty for cutting her loose.


  2. Trying to make me feel guilty for cutting her loose. Work from home India